Is this my Fairy Tale?

Once upon a time, a family made a big move from the city to the country. With the move came all kinds of new experiences; cows, chickens, space and most importantly...pets.



The little boy and the little girl had a sweet little kitten. She endured the little girl's constant torment. She was carried around constantly, held too tight, held too long and held by her neck. But she never scratched and she never ran away.

The family decides they should have another pet so they get a rowdy little black lab pup. The baby kitty doesn't like the pup so much and hides right away.

Mom needs to feed the kiddos dinner so runs into town.

Baby kitten has climbed up under her car...and she didn't know. She drives away, gets dinner, comes home and...

finds baby kitten dead on the road, still laying where she fell off and was ran over by Mom's car.

F%^#!

Can life get anymore f'd up for me. I ran over my kids' baby kitten. She was so sweet and so snuggly. I loved that baby as much as the kids did.

This is exactly what I needed right now, something to be upset about.

I have recently started a long battle that I hoped would never come...B has done to the kids what I was afraid of since the beginning...only I don't know exactly what "it" is.

I know they refuse to go to B's house.I know C refuses to talk to him on the phone or even see him. I know that both my kids have started peeing and pooping their pants again. I know that C wakes up 3 or 4 times a nights for no reason and the only thing he wants is mom to open her eyes and lay with him. I know that C has started getting violent and aggressive. I know that he is worse than he was before he started therapy. I know that his therapist is referring him to a child psychiatrist. I know my kids will not sleep in their own bed or even sleep without me present. I know Social Services is a joke. I know that "mandated" reporters don't always report. I know I am going to court on contempt charges because I would not force my children to go with a man they are scared of.

Any of you single mommies out there that read this...

This is your disclaimer. If you are easily offended, stop reading now.

I hate you single moms that were never hit, who never had to have their children watch it. I hate you for splitting amicably. I hate you for getting along with your exes. I hate you for never being in a spot where you had to call social services for fear that your kids' dad is doing something to hurt them. I hate you single moms who never were never emotionally abused day in and day out and never have to carry those wounds with you. I hate you for never having your ex say that YOU are doing this with your kids. I hate you for never having to defend yourself against such a f'd up accusation. Some days, I really hate reading your blogs and seeing the mundane things you struggle with on a daily basis.

Fine, I don't really hate you. I just don't like you much right now. I want your life, for just a day. I want someone to walk in my shoes, to tell me it's ok that I sometimes yell at my kids too much. I want someone to say "gee, how do you do it". I want someone to tell me that I am not crazy, that B is still abusive and manipulative.

I feel guilty about my kids, I feel like I am failing them because I can't help them through this. I feel guilty that their little minds and little bodies are so mixed up right now. I feel bad for my potty trained 4 year old that poops his pants and cries because he doesn't know why. I feel bad for my baby girl who has always received less just for being second. I feel bad because I ran over a cute, innocent baby kitty when I KNEW I should have checked first and it messed up my whole day and turned me into this...

And they lived happily (?) ever after...

The End.