Slowly slipping...
I am trying to hold on, trying to keep my center but it slowly getting lost in the chaos of life and work and crappy things.
I feel like I am losing my mind. I walk around all day running the same mantra through my head "It's going to be ok, the kids will be ok, we will be ok".
I realized that my work day is almost over and I cannot even recall my day. Like, not at all.
I am foggy and cloudy. I do not feel well. I did not sleep well. My house is a disaster. I have not checked my mail at all this week. I need to do laundry. I need to go grocery shopping.
I need to run away for a little bit. I need a night. I have spent more time away from my kids than I normally do but I really think I need it right now.
The thought has crossed my mind more and more these past few days that I am really not the best person to be raising these kids. I do not think their dad would be successful either as his problems are way bigger than mine.
I think I am just too wrapped up in myself and my healing and problems right now...
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6 comments:
I'm worried about you...email me if you need anything.
Really, anything.
There are lots of us here for you.
I think that sometimes too. That maybe they'd be better off somewhere else.
Then when I'm having the worst day, they will curl up next to me and wrap their little love around me and I'm like... "How could I ever live without them?!?!?!"
It will be ok. Just like you said. You're on the right path. Just focus on one step at a time.
((giant hugs))
I hope you're weekend gives you time to rest and relax. And sometimes we all need a break from the kids, and sometimes we need more breaks than other times. They probably need a break from us too. Feel better.
I'm worried, too. You have my email.
I feel the same way sometimes. Today hasn't been a very good day at all.
As you can see, you are not the only person who feels this way.
I want you to know, that you are in my prayers. I wish you and the kids the best. Just know that you can get through it. It will be hard, extremely hard, but you will do it.
I defy any single mom who hasn't had this kind of day, this kind of feeling. WAY more than once. But somehow, we get through it.
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